So, I have mentioned at least once or twice that I am a procrastinator. Sadly, there is not a lot of money in the field. I guess I just stick to it for the sheer love. In my moments of pumped up, you can do it!!! mentality, I started watching the hour long you can make a blog youtube video and I watched the first part a few times as I was creating the land where my words would dwell. I would give up here and there because electricity and I are not the closest of friends and I would get exhausted trying to figure something out….but, because I procrastinated sooo long, the youtube video I was learning from went away. So, I’m left with a half assed blog full of nothing – no sound, no fury, just a few jacked up posts about me whining about whatever…the gallery I wanted for my pictures…yeah. Not even close to knowing what to do.
What’s so very wrong is basically the last piece I wrote about was regarding a dear friend who passed from cancer. Since that time, I have had three other girlfriends pass from this planet. It’s a pretty hard blow…well, for a few of them, one was a woman who just retired but smoked, ate cheeseburgers and drank Coke non-stop and whose form of exercise was watching Big Brother. Losing her was sad, but not really surprising…like the others. The last one happened to be the worst of the bunch. Her life was taken from her quite viciously. She was an jewelry maker and a bright shining ball of cute, sassy, artistic energy. It’s both a serious shock and a serious shame. The loss of these four ladies threw my brain in a spiral of head shaking. Most of these lasses contributed so much to life and here I keep going, ‘maybe in the future…maybe…maybe…but right now I think I’m going to watch a little reality tv’.
Which is what I should have given up for Lent, but let’s not be so hasty. I, instead, gave up being negative about myself or others. This, I have found out, is much harder to give up because I’ll be half into a I’m such a whatever tirade before I even realize I’m doing it. It’s second nature…or more to the point…just nature. It’s a hard core hard wired part of me. This is also maybe why I haven’t written much either as, well, self depreciating quips are much more entertaining than people saying how awesome they are. I have realized, though, that I am pretty awesome at poking fun at myself.
So, what I’ve learned the last few months is that’s maybe all we will have, so if you wanna learn how to ride a bike, find a bike. If you want to learn how to cook a turkey, pick up a turkey and thaw that birdie out. And if you want to write, just sit on your bum and poke the keys…same if you wanna learn how to play a piano…but also picking up a song book may help for that as well.
Regardless of what it is you think you want out of life, try to find it, try to do it, and above all, try to enjoy it!